Looney Labs Something Mailing list Archive

[Something] Doctors plan to harm worms worldwide

  • From"Elliott C. Evans" <eeyore@xxxxxxxx>
  • DateMon, 08 Jan 2007 21:44:54 +0000
I know that, like me, many people on these lists also care
passionately about the welfare of worms, so I wanted to warn 
you all about some impending actions by a small minority of
the US electorate. 

I once thought that death was bad. At first look, it seems to 
harm people by ending their lives. On the surface, that makes 
sense. However, every human alive is one fewer being eaten by 
worms. If worms can't find a body in and out of which to crawl, 
they simply don't. Morticians fill graves and inter corpses 
ONLY when people are dying. Decreasing the death rate only 
hurts worms and the early birds that eat them.

Recent advances in medical science have lowered the death rate 
to precarious levels. I'm told that worm communication networks 
have been full of stories the past week about how worms are now 
having trouble making ends meet, so to speak. The Doctors, by 
making people healthier, have priced many poor worms, and a lot 
of young and smaller worms, out of the flesh market.

Now, US Doctors are set to do the same thing world wide, with 
their vaccination programs and medical treatments.

There should be no decrease in the WORLDWIDE death rate.

There really is very little debate about this among worms.
The empirical evidence is also pretty clear. Increasing the 
death rate increases employment among worms. As recently as a 
few years ago this was a "settled issue," even in the minds 
of the editorial board of the "New York Times," which argued 
strongly against worms.

But now medical personnel who care more about how things look 
(remember that to the uninformed the death rate looks like it 
actually HURTS people) than actually helping worms want to 
implement a massive decrease.

The politicians and many citizens seem to have forgotten that 
this is a settled issue, so we must go back to the barricades 
once again to defend the worm and the bug and the bacterium, 
as well as the small birds that are having a hard time 
competing against cats and weasels.

The death rate decrease must be opposed. If you agree, you 
can tell Congress what you think using this form provided by 
the grassroots (seriously grass roots) lobbying organization 
VermiCuture (an offshoot of the Vermitarian party).

Elliott C. "Eeyore" Evans